It’s my birthday today💃, and I’m so grateful for how far I’ve come and grown😊. Over the last two years, my mantra has been and will continue to be – “to LIVE”. I’ve indeed been living. The interpretation of living is subjective, but to me, it’s all about staying true to yourself, doing what makes you happy, whether or not it makes sense to others. It’s about being YOU!
In the future, you may or may not cringe at some of your past actions, but that’s where growth comes into play. For me, while living, I ensure I don’t “do pass myself”, don’t cross my boundaries nor go against my values. Although, this past year, I’ve been working on being more “open-minded”- to a reasonable and personally convinced extent.
A few years ago, someone asked me, “All of what you do – your dance videos, your posts – if you ever look back, do you think you’ll regret them?” My answer has, and will forever be, “Nope!” I wouldn’t regret them.
For what it’s worth, I actually laugh at my old videos . They crack me up sand sometimes I shake my head at how silly I was (not that I’ve stopped being silly😉 – I’m now a grown version of silly🤭).
I randomly remember that conversation, and nothing has changed. In fact, it has started to feel like a “guide”. My response is still the same, maybe because I never do anything that’s “beyond my power” or because whatever I do, I’m very aware of the consequences – good or bad.
Last month, a former colleague commented on a WhatsApp post of me dancing at Arc de Triomf (Read Here). He said “You’re growing o”. I didn’t fully get the deduction from the post but similarly, yesterday, he became more explicit and said, “You’re polished now, not like the ‘agbero*’ you were in Nigeria😂.”
I’d say while it’s just an attribute of my “normal is boring self”, I always and easily adapt to my environment.
Honestly, to live in Lagos, Nigeria, you need to be – or at least exhibit – a bit of “werey*” to survive – An attribute that’s not needed in a much saner climate. So here in Spain, the “werey*” is deeply suppressed😉.
Every time I look at my past videos, all I see is growth. Heck! I laugh at myself. Just yesterday, I came across an old video and thought, “Ahhhh, Ayo, what was really going through your mind?! 😂”.
Sometimes, I look at my old job applications and CVs, and I’m like, “Yoooo, what were you thinking?!” If my current self had reviewed my CVs and applications from 2016 to 2020, I probably wouldn’t have hired myself😂. I guess that’s the beauty of life—documenting, reviewing, and seeing the progress/difference.
I’m happy that I was, am, and will always be present in the moment. I also believe that’s the beauty of acquiring information and learning.
The said video when I was deep in my Tiktok content creation era – 2021
Over my years on earth, these are the understandings I’ve lived by — here’s a note from me to myself:
- Allow yourself to feel and go through the process, because time and chance happen.
- Allow yourself to LIVE and live in the present. For me, it’s living, but not staying complacent. Sticking to your fundamental principles, and everything else can be winged or grown upon.
- Your authenticity is something that’s always constant, even when situations change and people come and go. No one can take that away from you. My authenticity is what helps me bounce back as swiftly as I allow myself to.
- Don’t do something just because someone said so. Always do it because you’re willing to, or at the very least, you understand what you’re doing. That’s why I forever hate half-truths.
One of my prayers is that no matter how hard life gets, may I never lose my child-like wonder. It’s okay to “package” yourself because the outlook matters, but in all of it, be sure to LIVE and be FREE!
Living can be:
- You want to hop on a bouncing castle? By all means, my love! There’s no such thing as embarrassment because, let’s face it, embarrassment and shame are SUBJECTIVE – a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.
- You want to dance on the road? Go ahead.
- Whatever you want to do, whatever makes you happy, please do—but with sense and caution.
Lastly, be YOU. The world will adjust. They’ll definitely come around, and the lens you use for yourself is what reflects to others. For context, I’ve portrayed myself as a very unshy person who loves dancing, even though she doesn’t know how to🤣. So, tell me why three different people, in different countries, asked me why I didn’t dance on my way to collect my MSc certificate? I love it😂.
Through dancing, I’ve come to understand that the concept of change and how you make people see you the way you want to be seen is very real!
Fun fact: Honestly, I love dancing. There’s an 80% chance that when you meet me outside, and I’m on a solo walk, I’ll be dancing with my music plugged in. Can I dance? I believe I can😝, even though others might say otherwise. 😂 – But thennnnn, It’s them, not me🤣. There’s an issue with their sight🙄.
Dancing for me, is just an outburst of how free I am within.
Dear Reader,
I’m not oblivious to the fact that life doesn’t treat us all equally, but you can only CHOOSE to live despite the fire behind you. Otherwise, you’re just passing time—not living.
Last month, during a conversation with a friend of mine, I mentioned that I want to live, not just survive. He responded, “Na collabo*” which makes so much sense. The truth is, sometimes, you have to survive to get by, but regardless, I recommend choosing to live and enjoy the moment.
Be silly. Be fun. Be different. Be happy, but above all, at every point and stage of your life—BE YOU. You’ll always know when you’re not being YOU! – unless you want to deceive yourself.
*agbero – is a Nigerian slang from the Yoruba language literally meaning “Tout”.
*werey – is a Nigerian slang from the Yoruba language literally meaning “madness/crazy”. In my case, I call it matching energy😉.
*na collabo – A phrase in Nigerian pidgin English meaning “it’s together, not mutually exclusive”.